Monster Mash 2013: To Wig or Not To Wig

Are you bored yet?  This wig saga is taking more space and time than it deserves.  In real time, It was testing my low patience quotient.  Finding a frigging wig should be easy.

Immediately in front of Evangeline’s, Becky was waiting in the car.  The windows were down for her to enjoy a beautiful Fall morning.  She was texting, emailing, and doing iPhone things.  She looked out the passenger side window and asked, “Did you find something?”  I gritted my teeth and gave a terse reply, “No.  I need to come up with a new idea.”  

Time was running out.  Promoting the gig was taking a second seat to figuring out what to wear.  Practicing was taking a second seat to figuring out what to wear.  All of this time was being spent on something that should be simple and readily available . . . a frigging wig.

During the five-minute drive to the Doghouse, a new vision came:  Mark Lindsay.  You may ask, “Who is Mark Lindsay?”  Actually, given the passage of time, almost everybody probably will ask, “Who is Mark Lindsay?”  So it is a fair question that deserves an answer.  Mark Lindsay was the frontman for Paul Revere and the Raiders.

Paul Revere and the Raiders?  Don’t ask.  The answer might send me off on some tangent that would end up including a repeat of our Louie Louie posts from March of last year.  For the wig saga, all that you need to know is that Paul Revere and the Raiders wore colonial soldier costumes with three-corner hats.  That might be pretty cool.  Plus, I could add a white wig for the soldier-statesman look.

On my return to Evangeline’s Costume Mansion, I was directed to the Saloon and a rack of colonial costumes.  I worked my way through the rack.  Ben Franklin.  George Washington.  Colonial gentleman.  Aha, colonial soldier.  Blue coat with white lapels, a bit of red trim, and gold buttons.  It could have been stolen from Paul Revere and the Raiders.  “Do you have any size other than an adult large?”  “I don’t think so.  Just give it a try”  After I struggled to get the coat around my shoulders, Becky looked at the back and said, “too small.”  Alas, she was right.  So much for that vision.

The clerk could see the dejection on my face.  Plus, my imagination was frustrated and exhausted.  Why conjure up a vision just to strike out?  The clerk said, “Maybe you can find something in the Renaissance Room.”  In a lowered voice, I asked, “Do they have costumes for fat people in there?”  The clerk kindly said, “You’re built like my dad.  Not fat.  Just big.”

Off we went to the Renaissance Room.  “Do you carry anything for big people?”  The clerk charged with overseeing the Renaissance Room replied, “Let’s look.  We might have something.”  As she led us past togas, I thought, "Oh, oh, this could be a scene out of Animal House."  She then gestured . . . .

To find out how this ends, you will have to attend Monster Mash 2013! at the Capitol Bowl on October 27th.


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