What Should a Sharp Dressed Man Wear to a Beach Party?

Back in August, we quoted some from ZZ Top’s "Sharp Dressed Man."  Today, we quote a bit more:

Clean shirt, new shoes
And I don’t know where I am goin’ to
Silk suit, black tie,
I don’t need a reason why

Unlike ZZ Top's sharp dressed man, we have a reason why.  The January Beach Party is coming up this Saturday night at the Blue Lamp.  Three bands:  The Tiki Lounge Lizards, The Lava Pups, and The Funicellos.  And each wants to strut its stuff.

Plus, the promoter -- Shonda Honkanen -- issued a challenge of sorts.  “Yes it's girly of me, but can't wait to see what everyone wears!”  Can’t wait to see what everyone wears!  She is not talking about blue jeans and Dick Dale tee shirts.  Hey, I see this as a challenge.  Do you?

What does a sharp dressed man wear to a beach party at a bar in the California’s Central Valley?  That is, a sharp dressed man in a garage surf band.  Paisley?  Hawaiian print?  Sharkskin?  

Like the red carpet at the Golden Globes, does it have to be something nobody has seen before?  Or has not been worn in front of a crowd before?  Tres chic, funky, or utilitarian?  Real or faux Hawaiian?  Subtle or garish?

Or does Shonda’s challenge apply only to women?  On the red carpet, nobody seems to care that almost every guy wears a black tuxedo or suit of some sort.  When was the last time that you heard snarky commentary about what a man was wearing on the red carpet?

Looking in my closet reveals that too many choices exist.  Flowers.  Bamboo.  Palm trees.  Fish.  Birds.  Tikis.  Modern Hawaiian designs.  Classic scenes.  Classy.  Tasteless.  How about a Hawaiian cowboy?  Madras?  That takes care of the shirts.  

A more formal look is available.  How about paisley -- too subtle under the spotlights?  Or the cheap Chinese sharkskin suit that recently arrived -- too businesslike?  Or the Hawaiian tux standby -- too much exposure already?

This is rapidly becoming paralysis by analysis.  Maybe loyal readers should vote.  Or Facebook viewers.  Or both.  What if nobody votes, and I remain paralyzed?

Oh, what the heck, vote if you want.  You can vote early and often.  No election coverage.  No 30-second hit pieces.  No campaign mailers.  No robocalls.  No solicitations for contributions.  No appealing to your base instincts, your fears, or your hates.  No promises or platform.

But remember to come out to the show Saturday night at the Blue Lamp to see the winner when the Lava Pups take the stage. 


In the words of ZZ Top:

They come runnin' just as fast as they can
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man


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